shyness in me.
"You're so shy and quiet," "She's very quiet in class," "Don't be shy," "Mahiyain!" shy. quiet. The words that I often receive and hear from everyone ever since I was a kid, especially in their first impression. To be honest, I am very aware of it until now, and this is a big insecurity of mine, which I very much hate. I did not choose to be like this; I grew up this way already! perhaps due to my childhood or childhood trauma. Starting high school, I tried to be as social as possible, and it worked! I had a lot of good, staple, same-vibe friends. It was my time of life that I comfortably expressed my joyful and funny personality without being constantly judged or feeling anxious or whatever! Apparently, when I landed in college, it was a different set of people. Different personalities, backgrounds, and interests. It was saddening how they could relate to each other, and me? I'm just listening and nodding every time. It was ann...
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